Tuesday, September 3, 2013

salah ku

setiap yang berlaku pasti ada sebabnya. aku akui aku telah lakukan satu kesilapan besar dalam hidup akuu... betul cakap orang tak semua bend akita mampu miliki.. aku ada kerjaya.. tapi aku tak berjaya dalam cinta. aduhh susah nya mencari cinta.. bila aku uji sikit.. dah cabut lari.. apa ni... aku cari someone yang boleh adapt kesusahan.. tahu menilai hidup.. aku tau lah engkau tu.. ermm.. hebat.... mmula2 cakap sanggup lalui apa sahja.. tapi bila aku uji sikit.. dah nak cabut lari.. tinggal kan aku.. huarrgghh... i need help !!! tapi bila di pikir balik. aku tak patut pulak uji dia sampai mcam tu skali.. setiap orang ada limit kesabaran dia.. sorry la u.. i buat u hilang sabar ngan i.. huhu.. sorry again.. this time i wanna change everything.. maybe i should open my heart to everyone.. know what kind of people.. and be honest to myself.. yeahhh HONEST TO MY SELF !!! still under muhasabah diri.. thinking deeply about the words.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

2013 ( august) new life.. new story... :)

akhir nya.. setelah beberapa bulan menyepi membawa hati yang lara.. hehe.. cewahh... ( padahal lupa password) aku muncul kembali.. aduih.. dalam beberapa bulan ni. mcam2 dah jadi kat aku.. haha.. banyak kisah cinta dari kisah kerjaya.. setelah berpisah dengan cik abang pilot kesayangan.. haahaha.. aku dah single.. smpai lah sekrang ni.., huhuhu.. sedih nya.. sayang betol kat cik abang pilot tu... takpe.. takde jodoh kan .. nak buat macam mana.. aku dah berhenti kerja bank.. now.. i'm working with iranian company.. so.. secara automatik.. international company lah kan.. hehe... klau nak di ceritakan macam mana aku boleh kerja ngan ira ni.. smpai putus jari pun aku tak habis tulis hahaha... now.. aku dah kerja.. sebagai accountant merangkap project manager.. besar sangat lah tanggungjawab aku ni.. bagi aku lah.. almaklumlah.. tak pernah kerja banyak2... now baru aku sedar.. zaman student lah yang paling best skali.... huhu.. banyak masa tuk berehat.. sekarang ni.. aku rasa macam hidup untuk kerja je.,,... tak de masa nak rehat dan memanjakan diri.. nak cari BF pun tak sempat.. hahhaha.. ( ayatt single) lagi satu.. klau korang nak tau... sekarang ni.. aku dah jadi part time tutor kat ada la.. kolej swasta.. hehehee... biar lah rahsia.. apa yg aku blajar dulu2 nun.. dah tak selari ngan apa yang aku kerja ni... yg aku belajar banking.. tapi aku berhenti.. sebab gaji payah nak naik.. klau setakat 2k.. macam mana nak hidup beb,... betol tak apa aku cakap ni kan... lagi satu.. klau korang dengar ni.. mesti korang terkejut.. next mont.. klau ada ternampak muka aku kat majalah.. jangan terkejut yer.. skrg ni.. aku buat part time modelling.. haaaa... tekejut gila kan.. mcam2 kerja aku buat.. sebab nak lupa cik abang pilot tu.. kita orang hampir2 bertunang.. pastu putus di tengah jalan.. ala.... terngat balik dah.. hahahaa.. aku rasa,,.. sampai sini aje lah kot.. aku update tuk tahun ni.... happy nya !! dpar ingat balik password hhaha.. semalam mimpi dapat lamborghini.. ada orang nak bagi kat aku kot.. haha... harap2 ada lah.. jutawan nak bagi aku lamborghini sebijik.. hahahahaahaahha... bye kawan2!! aku nak sambung buat kerja ni.. dah dekat hujung bulan..banyak cheque nak kna sign.. ohh.. ya.. klau ada sesiapa nak cari kerja.. let me know yer.... i'm looking for an assistant... the salary will be discuss face to face... bring yr certificate.. .. but i prefer who have an experienced... and fast learner.. tak payah nak ajar banyak. kali.. aku pun banyak kerja nk d buat... peringatan !! anda akan bekerja dengan iranian company.. if tak paham macam mana corak kerja dia orang.. tanyalah aku.. so aku takut nanti korang tak dapat nak adapt kerja ngan environment dia org... huhu... assslamualaikum !!

Monday, December 10, 2012

sarang labah2

wahhh... rasa nya mcam dah berserawang blog aku ni. dah bertahun tahun x nengok nyer haaa.... bukan nya sibuk mana pun.... tapi malas nak update.. nak update benda terkini kang... ada jugak yang pegi sampai kan dekat family aku.. hahahaha.. tak ke haru jadi nya nanti... so better shut up. biar lah otak shj yang menyimpan nya... hihihii... kali ni aku nak story... tentang hobi baru aku ni. boleh d kata kan tiap bulan aku pergi bercuti. melawat island.. wahh... best rupanya hobi mcam ni.. dapat release kan kepala otak.. even tak buat xtvt berat.. tapi dapat release kan kepala otak yang sntiasa sibuk.. bila dapat tengok laut.. masyaALLAH.. nyaman nya..!! lega!! dapat lari dari tempat tnggal + kerja !!! betul la orang cakap.. semakin tinggi gaji.. semakin tinggi tanggungjawab yang kita nak kena tanggung.. dan semakin berat kerja kita nak kena buat. tapi... kalau gaji sikit.. tu yg tak sedap tu. nak makan.. nak beli brang keperluan diri pn tak bole.... bila gaji besar.. nak shopping tak pun relax pun tak de masa.. rindu nya masa study.. rndu nya... nak relax2.. tak pergi kelas.. tak payah pikir pasal cari duit.. susah rupanya nak mencari duit ni.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

sasaran pertama sudah tercapai!!!

yearghh.. stelah sekian lama.. aku tak update.. hehe.. bak kata tiara lara.. bz sbb dah jd wanita berkerjaya.. haha.. takper.. yang penting aku dah ada target aku sendiri.. misi aku sampai hujung tahun nihee.. tengok dulu... 1. dalam masa dua bulan nak beli iphones yg baru 2. nak mantap kan duit...tak nak bawah 2 ribu untuk 2 bulan selepas itu.. 3. nak renovate umah kat kampung 4. lepas tu.. aku nak beli tv lcd nak tempek kat diding umah aku nih.. 5. nak beli set sofa tuk mak ok.. semua ni.. perancangan aku sampai bulan 12 nih.. kalau tak ada apa2 halangan.. insyaALLAH.. hehe TAPI.. AHAHAH AKU DAH BERJAYA DAPAT BELI IPHONE 4 S!!!! wahhh.. tidak ku sangka.. bru je beli tadi.. pukul 7.. haraap2 mak aku tak tau.. haha.. nanti penat kna berleter.. aduhai... dan.. tengok gambaq kat bawah ni.. ni lah iphone aku.. hihhihi.. bahagia nya.... berjaya jugak beli fon dengan duit gaji aku nih... malam ni tido aku berpelukan ngan iphone ni je lah ahaha.. sayang nya.. macam nak cium2 jer.. hahahha....

Sunday, April 29, 2012

new life ~~~

bermula nya 9 april bermulalah kehidupan baru aku.. jika dulu nya.. aku hanya seorang pelajar.. kini aku adalah seorang pekerja.. percaya tak aku dah kerja.. hehe.. alhamdulillah.. last week result sem lpas dah keluar.. ok lah bagi aku.. tapi target aku nak dekan.. tak de rezeki kot.. walaupun strategi aku sebelum ini tak menjadi.. bak kata orang.. setiap startegi harus ada banyak planning.. memandang kan strategi A aku tak berjaya... maka aku beralih ke plan B pulak.. hee.. oh ya... nbulan 6 ni.. aku ada kursus.. tuk ocompany sacretary.. aku kan nak tukar courses.. tapi tak boleh sebab tu dah masuk lain fakulti dah. tapi dengan ada nya plan B ni.. insyaALLAH.. akan berhasil... ngeh3... caiyok3!! oh ya.. sebenar nya aku nak crita pasal kerja aku nih.. sekarang ni aku ekrja di CIMB wealth advisors di taman tun dr. ismail... alhamdulillah.. aku happy n mula suka kan dengan kerja ni.. walaupun sbelum ni aku berjaya untuk menyandang executive di affin bank di menara chulan.. tapi bila pikir kan balik kena balik malam.. tuk tutup akaun.. susah bagi aku tu.. dah la tak ada transaport sangat arae situ.. tapi yang paling aku suka kat situ.. tempat kerja dia.. teramat exclusive.. bilik tuk aku cantik.. hehe.. menara chulan tu pun cantekkk.. haha.. adoihh... keselematan harus d pikir kan jugak. betol tak?? kerja kat sni.. ok.. aku ok lah kat sni.. lagi pun.. dekat dengan rumah aku.. di pelangi damansara condo.. bas pun depan rumah jer.. senang nak bergerak.. lagi pun.. kerja kat sini office our.. kerja nya pun banyak relax.. hahahahaa.. aku tak curi tulang okeyhh.... hihi.. kepada sesiapa yang rajin nak ke ikea.. sila lah melawat aku kat sni.. rumah aku dekat aje ngan ikea.. hehe.. aku sunyi sebenarnya kat sini.. tak da kawan.. almaklum lah.. aku ni kan susah sikit nak berkawan.. kena take time sikit.. then aku ni pulak susah nak percayakan orang... even orang yang paling rapat dengan aku.. ok lah.. nanti aku update lagi,.. nak sambung buat kerja sikit... huhu... doa kan kejayaan aku yerkkk... senyum2 selalu...

Friday, March 9, 2012

kuatkan hati


aku hanya mampu menunggu dan bersabar apakah rencana yang di atur oleh Allah S.W.T buat aku selepas ini. aku harap aku kuat untuk hadapi semua ini. semoga aku akan terus kuat untuk terus berjalan mengharungi setiap onak dan jalan yang berliku0-liku di hadapan aku ini. semoga aku akan terus berjalan tanpa menoleh ke belakang. semoga aku akan terus mempercayai diri sendiri dan menyayangi diri sendiri selain dari pada orang yang selalu menyakiti hati aku. melukai hati aku. memberi harapan palsu. memberi cinta palsu. memberi sebuah ilusi yang tak akan menjadi realiti kepada aku. aku berterima kasih kepada insan2 tersebut yang telah memberikan kesan yang mendalam ke dalam hati aku. semoga anda semua akan tersedar dari lamunan. ingat lah karma itu adalah ada.
aku berharap aku akan terus kuat. muunnnn... engkau harus kuat. jangan jadi lemah. jangan jadi orang yang bodoh. kuat kan iman mu. kuat kan hati mu. cekal kan hati mu. dengan semua ini. sesungguhnya semua ini adalah dugaan untuk kau. dan Allah mengetahui dan mengatur yang terbaik untuk kau.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

kasih sayang lebih penting dari segalanya


ini punya cerita saya ambik dari FB.. hehe.. aku rasa korang patut baca kisah ni. sungguh menyayat hati . penuh iktibar dan korang patut hayatinya, sebab dalam hidup kita ni tak semua benda ada lah kebahagiaan. termasuk lah dalam alam perkahwinan. bagi yang belum kahwin tu jadi kan cerita ni sebagai pengajara. duit, harta rumah besar bukan nya jaminan kepada kebahagiaan tetapi hanya elemen yang melengkap kan sesebuah institusi kebahagiaan. selamat membaca... >.<

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up
by: Ennaid Seyer